Thicker Than Water

when your stepdad walks into the room and you realize you are wearing the same flannel

africans:

no but seriously meryl streep can do anything she’s a goddess 

2011, overall, has been one of the most difficult years for me so far. I ended a two year abusive relationship, disconnected completely with my father, suffered from losses, and inverted so far into my own mind that I was unsure if coming out again would even help.

And then, I did something so miniscule, so minute, that in the grand scheme of things, it probably looked like Carlye was just being Carlye, to other people.

I cut off all my hair.

By far, the most liberating thing I have ever done for myself. It has honestly changed who I am as a person because for the longest time, I was told by my ex that I would look ugly, that people wouldn’t like me, that I would be a nobody, if I cut off my hair.

So, to please him, (my hair was shoulder length when I meet him two years ago), I spent hundreds on hair extensions, I had my mom, who is ironically, a hair stylist, dye, color, razor, trim, style, curl, and straighten my hair to please him. I thought I liked it too. But, in all reality, I hated it. And after two years of being controlled like that, I decided to cut it all off. So, in June, I cut it into a slightly higher than shoulder length bob, then in september into a longer pixie, and finally, in early december, I cut it into a very short “pixie”.

So, I think people assume that I cut off my hair, just because I wanted to try something new, when in reality, I just wanted to liberate myself, to start over.

It seems stupid, its just hair right? Yeah, it really is.. just hair. But it was something I needed to do for myself.

So, in the new year, I’m starting fresh. I’m starting with my short hair, on the first of 2012 and letting it grow out, how I want it for the entire year. No colors. No dyes. No fake extensions.

So, all of this leads up to my 365 project. I think, as a part of the whole, growing out my hair, becoming the person I want to be, should be documented. And each day, I will just take one picture of myself and post it. It will probably look mostly the same day to day. But at the end of the year, I think I’m going to string all of the pictures together into a video. Like a, look how far I have come, kind of thing.

That’s all I have to say, and I hope what little followers I do have, look forward to seeing what and who I have become one year from now.

i got my collarbone pierced tuesday, i want to post a picture, but i’m too lazy

i’m getting my collarbone pierced today